We've all heard of Buyer's Remorse, that phenomenon that occurs when you have just signed the dotted line for a big-ticket item like a house or a car and you go home and think to yourself, "What have I done?! I have 36 hours to cancel. I'd better cancel; there is no way I can afford that!" It's possible that the item you are fretting over was not even that expensive; maybe it was that cute jacket that is totally impractical but seemed like a great idea at the time. Or the umpteenth tool you just thought your life would not be complete without.

As our students near the end of the application process and the beginning of The World's Longest Wait, we in the high school college counseling business find our students and sometimes their parents experiencing "Applier's Remorse.” “Applier's Remorse” can take several forms but the one that I wait for each year looks like this: My student Megan has thoroughly investigated, visited and applied to five schools. She completed all the applications, went the extra mile and sent letters of recommendation and a personal statement, answered the essay questions, and now she's waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Along about week six of this process (it's been six weeks since she sent her applications), Megan has not heard a thing. Christmas break comes and goes and, just as one can predict the swallows return to Capistrano, I can predict what happens next. Megan presents herself in my office in January and exclaims, “Mrs. Egan, I think I need to apply to some more colleges!”

I am beginning to realize that I spend a lot of time talking students (and some parents) off the ceiling. We live in an instant answer, instant gratification world. A world of drive-through fast food, cell phones and iPods, answers to our every question available at the touch of a button or a Google search, colleges communicating that they have not received the transcript when the online application was just sent YESTERDAY for Pete’s sake. Add to that the uncertainty of college admissions and the knowledge that even some of the best and brightest are denied from the flagship state university, and we have a monster on our hands. One that all of us created. I certainly helped fuel that process when I told my students early in Junior year that they need to try to see three campuses before spring break. Taking the ACT exam at least twice is beneficial, but really, three times would be ideal. Taking advantage of every opportunity to visit with college reps on campus and to make those treks to see what colleges have to offer are so very important. How about my early meetings with seniors this fall, when I gave each a timeline and told them Halloween—you need to get your applications out the door by Halloween! And of course I am not living in a vacuum; I am simply imparting information to keep my kids and their parents on track and able to deal with the flurry of activity that surround college admissions. I am responding to the timeframe I hear from the colleges: earlier is always better than later, apply by the preferred scholarship deadline, etc.

So I see the primary manifestation of “Applier’s Remorse” as the student who has done everything, on time and in perfect form, and cannot stand the silent wait. This is the student most apt to wonder if she needs to add some schools to her list. Dealing with this student is usually a matter of looking again at her list, assuring her that there are certainly some schools where she should get in, and encouraging her to hang in there on the wait. “Use your time productively!” I will say. “Fill out some of those scholarship applications. Keep your grades up.” Within a week or two my student will generally have some nice fat envelopes in hand and all will be well with her world once again.

The students that are most in need of more help would be the ones who have applied and been accepted but are not sure they want to go to any of their schools, and the ones who have discovered they cannot afford their first-choice school. These situations require immediate intervention, not only to get the ball rolling in a different direction but also to keep the students from a tailspin. These are also the situations that cause me to lose sleep at night!

For the student who is questioning her ultimate decision, not quite sure that any of the schools she has been accepted to are quite the right fit, I would most likely recommend another campus visit unless she clearly articulates some issue (such as family finances, college culture or maybe a major change) that is causing her to rethink her decision. Sometimes a spring visit is all it takes to reassure my student that a school is right.

Last spring I had more than one student come to me in complete distress. Financial aid award letters were out, my students and their parents had that necessary cost comparison discussion, and the end result was clear: my students had been accepted at several out of state institutions, none of which offered more than a minimal student loan. It was clearly time to reopen the college search. After a few meetings my students sent out two more applications each, one to a private school nearby and another to an in-state school. I called the admissions offices at all of the schools before we even contemplated applications, just to judge the availability of a spot as well as their potential interest in my students. How wonderful I find it to have a personal relationship with college reps! Ultimately, these students matriculated at the private institutions and report they are happy with their choice.

As the advent of The World’s Longest Wait is upon us, I hope for students that you practice deep breathing and repeat often to yourself, “I’ve done everything possible. There is nothing more I can do. I just need to be patient and let this process play out.” I hope for parents that you can support your student and not give in to the temptation to constantly double-check their college application status. And my greatest hope is for my colleagues in this business. We all know that without us, our students would be seriously lacking in guidance toward their college careers. Hang in there!

Submitted by
Carrie Egan
College Planning Coordinator
Carmel Catholic High School
Mundelein, Illinois